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Messages on Growth

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How to heal ourselves and the planet we live on


So, we begin with this question – Are you living a better life? This question is the source of learning. So, what is the nature of this question? Why is it the source of learning? As you proceed to help someone and as you explore for yourself, the idea of leading a better life hold this in mind.

  1. Consider first and foremost that no one can tell another how to be living a better life.

The Messages do not tell you how to be living a better life. Many will treat the messages as the keys to living a better life, they are NOT. If I had wanted the Message to be the keys to living a better life I would have named them so.

So, are you living a better life? How you answer this question says many things and you should pay attention to your answer and how you feel about your answer.  Are you living a better life is not a yes or no question. Even though in your language it is phrased that way.

  1. Do you come quickly to this question and give your answer or more slowly and only offer part of your answer?

  2. Did you not give your answer, but the answer of someone else?

  3. Whose answer are you giving, is it yours?

Part of Being Awake means knowing, being aware of whose voice speaksthrough you to answer questions. Within you there are many voices; this is a natural by-product of living in a world that values “knowing” over “learning.”

Two Stories of Growing Up

Consider these two stories of growing up and how the voices of others shape our lives and how we think about leading a better life.


  1.     Lee spent the summers of his childhood with his grandparents. Each day of the summer he would go to work with his grandfather, learning carpentry. His grandfather’s work was respected by many and so he was always very busy. In the beginning, Lee learned the names of all the tools and materials used by his grandfather. Lee’s job would be to help the carpenters, bring them tools to the job and clean up at the end of the day. From this he progressed to getting the carpenters whatever they needed.
        His grandfather would say, “Lee, a good helper gets the right tool every time. The best helpers bring the tools before the carpenter asks.” For a long time Lee could not understand this, he was not a mind reader. In the middle of the day he would sometimes be bored with nothing to do; this would bother his grandfather. He would say, “Lee, when you are not fetching, you are watching.”
        Lee learned to keep busy when his grandfather made his rounds to check the work of his carpenters. He had learned this was best, to not frustrate his grandfather; too often he had seen the other carpenters get in trouble for having stopped work. It was not pleasant to make grandfather upset. He heard the carpenters talking one day, complaining, “what does he expect, we stop work because we do not know what he wants us to do, better to work than not do it right but then he gets mad anyway”. “Yes, but not as mad as if you do it wrong” or said another man, “do it a different way.” Everyone nodded in agreement.
        He learned over time as the other carpenters did, to do it grandfather’s way and not try new ways even if they were faster. When he asked his grandfather questions about why do it this way, grandfather would reply, “this is the way it is done” or “the wood likes it this way.” So this is how he learned to be a carpenter. Eventually he took over his grandfathers business, doing the work in the same way, hearing the voice of his grandfather, ‘this is the way it is done’ and he often found himself saying the same.


  1.     Peter learned to be a gardener from his father. He spent summers and weekends with him. His father loved gardening, he loved being outside. Peter was encouraged to do as much. As a young boy, he would often help with planting flowers. His father said every job should be a mix of fun and hard work. When Peter would ask questions, his father would patiently answer them. His father was always experimenting with new ways to do things, finding new fertilizers, and new planting methods.
        The people who worked for him were bringing new ideas to make things work better. Peter’s father would almost always say, “Okay, let’s try it” to any new idea. “Start small” he would always add. Peter would also try new things, which didn’t always work out. His father would simply say, “So know you know.” One day Peter asked his father, “why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t going to work, I could have saved all that time?” Peter’s father answered in Polish, “Better to learn from doing than telling.” When Peter took over the business after his father died from a heart attack, there were many things he changed and many things he kept the same about the business.

Within you there are many voices, voices of those who have given you energy – was the energy offered and received in-knowing or in-learning? If the voices offered words in learning then often they become yours. If the voices offered words “in knowing” then there is a good chance this energy is the substance of rules, not opportunities. These two stories examined in physical terms could be viewed as right or wrong. What story did you find “better”?

Better - What does it mean to you?

Pay attention when there are two choices in front of you. Pay attention to your natural tendency to choose. Suspend choice; notice what happens both to yourself and those connected to the choice. What is the nature of better?

  1. What makes one choice better than the other? Where does better come from? Can you distinguish if this is our voice or the voice of another determining what is better?

There is much to be learned from this question, let us continue. This question, as many others I pose to you, is small in size and long in learning. This is because I use your language from an energetic stance. This is something that you must continually practice, to adopt an energetic stance. So, if you reflect on this question of leading a better life from a stance of matter, what emerges?

Now if you reflect on this question are you leading a better life from a stance of energy, what emerges? Many ask (will ask) how do I do this? How do I adopt an “energetic stance”? This is an interesting question and the response sits all around you.

If you lack the ability to sense the world energetically and experience most of your world as binary then this will be a difficult task. The simplest pathway is to pick one of the Messages and apply them to the situation.

The earliest messages and principles are a good place to start.

Many will initially approach this question in light of him/herself.

  1. How am I doing?

  2. Is my life better today than two years ago?

  3. How do I compare to my neighbor?

  4. Do I have more today than yesterday?

  5. Am I trying to improve myself?

The question is “narrowed” to the “I” which appears separate.

Even the “we” is not expansive enough. For example, “we” could mean “my family” or “we” could me “us”, those that are like me. This could mean my race or my community or my church. If there is an intention to define and therefore exclude, then it is not embracing the spirit of an energetic stance. It is always helpful to move from the “I” from “am I living a better life” to “is my family living a better life?” 

  1. This is the first task of adopting an energetic stance, to step out of the “I” and into “all of us.” This means to see yourself as connected and part of something larger. The principle to consider is that I cannot be leading a better life if everyone all around me is not.

Consider this story about Bob and his family.

  1. Bob loves his family deeply – his wife, son, his daughter, his brother and mother. He has made sure that all his children are well provided for both while he lives and when he dies. He has worked long hours days and weeks and years, sacrificing in many ways, making sure that everyone has what they need and in most cases what they want. Over the years his wife has raised the children, has shielded Bob from many of the family crises and problems. She has sought comfort form all this stress in eating and drinking alcohol. Her doctor says her weight is creating risk for a heart attack and the alcohol consumption should be reduced by one-half and she must lose sixty pounds. Bob knows nothing about this.
        His youngest daughter Maria has been unlucky in love. She has had three significant relationships and been married once and is now a single mother with two children. She lives about fifteen minutes away Bob’s wife takes care of the two children every day after school.
        Barb, the oldest, is single with no plans to marry. She does not wish her mother’s life and does many things to avoid falling into the traps she sees her mother living. She has struggled with bouts of anorexia. She is determined to lead a simpler life than the one she grew up in.
        Marge, Bob’s mother, is so proud of her son. He has a beautiful family, he has been very successful. After her husband died, Bob made sure all the finances were in order and she could continue to live in the house. She stayed ignorant of the finances, content to let Bob handle everything.
        Sara is not happy in her marriage, her job. She acts happy all the time. Like her mother, she is her mother following the patterns offered to her. She does not drink at all, her one point of differentiation. She hides her feelings, masks problems and eats for comfort.
        Bob’s answer to the question, “Are you living better?” is yes, answered without hesitation. “  When asked “You are very positive and quick to answer, tell use some more.” Bob told the history of his family growing up poor. His grandparents were immigrants. He explained that he wanted better for his family and felt he had exceeded his own expectations. Bob told a number of stories with great accomplishment of how everyone was provided for and wanted for little.

When asked, “So, everyone is healthy and happy?” there was some slight hesitation, followed by “Yes for most part.” “For the worst part?” he was asked. “Well, my wife is overweight but that runs in her family and my youngest daughter had a touch time with that ex-husband who was a bum, but she is doing a bit better now.”

Of course Bob has been shielded from many of the family problems. Bob has expanded his sense of “I” to his “family.” He loves everyone dearly and defines “better” primarily in physical terms centering around home, shelter, wealth (he leaves out emotional health).

Now back to Bob and his story. Bob is a loving, caring man, dedicated to his family. I would wish for Bob that he is more awake and has more opportunities to choose from.I can wish this: I risk doing harm if I approach Bob with a judgment or in knowing that “he should.”

So what is the nature of this question - “Are you leading a better life?? Why are we spending time on it, both touching it and skirting around it and talking about how you or Bob invites learning from this question?

The Question Explained

The nature of the question “Are you living a better life?” shares the same deep nature as the nature of the Messages – growth. This question is an energetic question about growth. This question provides learning and the ability to see and experience new opportunities when you ponder it.

Considering One Word At A TIme

1.  YOU. So, in this question  “ Are you leading a better life”

  1. You is yourself

  2. You is yourself and is interconnected with your comfort, habits, addictions

  3. You is yourself and those within your family (however you define family)

  4. You is the children around you

  5. You is the community in which you live

  6. You is the children of the entire community in which you live

  7. You is the community and the community’s it touches

  8. So, the you that is you – the you that seeks to learn and grow and heal, – the you that is connected to everything cannot fully embrace the  answer “yes” if the other you’s are not also living a better life.

  9. You is everyone

  10. You is the planet

You is the manifestation of the principle of interconnectedness, of the message You Are Not Alone, of the message Be With Your Children. This was demonstrated in Bob’s story. Bob answered firmly “yes” to the question; his answer began with himself and expanded to his definition of better (knowingness) to his family, to his knowingness that his family is living a better life with a few minor exceptions if you expand the definition to physical health.

2. BETTER –  Viewing this word energetically it means”

  1. Better is growing and healing

  2. Better is the stance of learning of they you

  3. Better is the expression of the message Do No Harm

  4. Better is the expression of the message Be Awake

  5. Better is the expression of the message Walk Into The Light

2. LIVING means:

  1. Living is the energy of growth

  2. Living is the stance of learning

  3. Living is the message of Do No Harm

  4. Living is the principle “we are all creators”

  5. Living is the expression of the message You Are Responsible For Everything

  6. Living is growth. Living is learning, living is creating, living is being responsible for creation (past, present, future).

Everyone wishes a better life for themselves and sometimes for others.  The nature of what a better life means, how someone names this for themselves is very revealing.